Loch Ness Blog

My god I’m happy.

Happy like when my pal Derek crams marshmallow Peeps into his mouth and screams “chubby bunny” to make me laugh. The kind of happy that makes my neck tickle. The best part is, I really wasn’t expecting it.

I was suspicious of today. The University organized an International Family orientation that we were scheduled to go to. The term “International Family” worried me. Was Shaun sure that we were a “family?” It’s not like we’re siblings or anything. Doesn’t family mean people with kids? Would we be way younger than everyone else? Would this require me to identify myself as a “spouse” or a “wife” instead of the far more liberating, “partner?” Plus, my hair was misbehaving and my thighs were in agony, still acclimating to taking my daily run on the treacherous hills of our neighborhood, so different from the flat city blocks of Chicago. Couldn’t we just skip the orientation and get some coffee instead?

We arrived late. Shuffling into the room, I glimpsed a little girl cuddling sweetly into her mommy’s soft pink sari. On the other side of the room, a thick-waisted Caribbean man inquired as to the schooling of his three children. The South Korean couple that we sat nearby bowed slightly and smiled in that “I-don’t-speak-English” type of way when I held out my hand and said, “Hi. I’m Truly.” Neither International nor Family did I feel.

But soon a new group of people popped in the room: a tall, lanky Nigerian, followed by a cute Malaysian couple and a gorgeous, groomed Pakistani woman. They were our age. No kids in tow. Animated and friendly. These were Our People. I could tell.

After a few very helpful lectures on Scottish procedures, such as how to access the National Health Care System, lunch was served. I grabbed an egg salad sandwich and went over to chat up our new friends.

Everyone’s English was impeccable, fluent; almost unbelievable they weren’t native speakers. I felt so lucky to be able to communicate with these people, too: they were all fantastically cool.
Both the Malaysian woman, Fika, and the Pakistani woman, Natalia, were married to graduate students, like me. From the moment we uncovered this, a bond was formed: we were to be friends. And I can tell, it won’t just be a cordial friendship of circumstance.

Fika and her husband Dean seem to be like Shaun and I: as equally up for adventure as we are for board games. Dean is studying International Politics. He originally studied to become a doctor, but hated it. I like people who listen to their hearts. Fika is very cool. She’s down to earth, receptive, and is a trained and practicing dentist. Natalia was completely glamorous. Back in Pakistan, she made a living as a model, doing print ads, runway, and television commercials. Her husband couldn’t attend the orientation, but I’m sure he’s great too. We also met Goodwin, a super nice grad student from Nigeria whose wife could not attend. Goodwin left a bit early, but I’m looking forward to getting to know him and his wife better.

We all bonded over recent Scottish adventures. The little things have been providing the biggest challenges. Like trying to figure out how the UK dials on the washing machines work or trying to find a Mexican restaurant. Natalia was delightfully assertive as our time together drew to a close. Tossing back her shiny black hair, she announced, “Okay. We’re all going out Saturday night.”

Saturday is going to be quite the day. In the morning, we are joining the International Families on a tour bus to see some beautiful sights outside of Glasgow. Natalia and her partner are busy, but Dean and Fika are on board to come along with us. “We’ll go if you guys go,” we agreed. In the evening, we are meeting up with Natalia and her husband, as well as Goodwin and his wife, for a rollicking night at the pub.

So I’m happy. Shaun is too. If this is what being a family means while we are in this place, while we are at this point in our lives, away from our much-loved mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers, we are totally game.

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What has the word “family” meant to you at different points in your life?